Welcome to a new blog series I just made up where I really get into the minds of a few of our goblin friends. "But they're just characters in a card game, they're not real!" I hear you shout. Well who looks crazier - me pretending I'm talking to a goblin alone in my home or you shouting out loud into your phone screen on the bus? That's right, snotbag.
So here we go, a ridiculous set of questions for our ridiculous goblin lads and lasses.
Mandy: It's great to have you here, Rainbow
Rainbow: Hey, chick, it's like, rad to be here. I'm always so stoked to meet a fellow traveller on this wild road of life.
Mandy: Erm... cool? So, we're here to find out a bit more about you - where do you live?
Rainbow: Around, like, wherever the spirit takes me. Right now me and my bongos are hanging out in a commune outside of Skegness. It's so chill.
Mandy: Bongos? We share a passion - I too play the drums - how long have you played?
Rainbow: Oh, I actually just got given these by a shaman I met on a spiritual trip last week. He was called Steve.
Mandy: OK. One thing Goblins are known for is their gobblin' - what's your favourite food?
Rainbow: I get a real kick out of munching down a double rainbow, like, just the spacey feeling it gives you is so rad. Or a mud pie, I ain't fussy.
Mandy: And least favourite?
Rainbow: Ah man, if I had to choose I'd say roundabouts. I just can't dig the constant circles man, like, I won't be defined by your rigid traffic structures, you know what I'm saying?
Mandy: I'm not sure I ever will know quite what you're saying, but OK. Our time's almost up, any life lessons to share with our readers?
Rainbow: Just keep it breezy, love life, and always remember to make your own rainbows.
There we have it, I'm off to check myself into the loony bin. Ta ta.