Goodness gracious me I'm at it again. Someone please reach out. Send help. I'm stuck here at GGHQ talking to myself for the third week in a row. Will there ever be an escape? Will I ever see another human soul again? Or will it just be me and my 12 imaginary green friends to keep me company forever?

Well, actually I can already tell you that I'm going to be seeing a lot of other humans this weekend - for we will be playtesting the 12 player version of the game! And not even I can pretend to be 12 different people at once, so we're using real life other humans. More on that next week, for now, let me retreat again into the depths of my mind...


Mandy: Hi Lumpy, pleasure to have you here
Lumpy: Alright lovely, nice to see you

Mandy: Nice getup - have you come straight from work?
Lumpy: Yeah, you know me, slave to the wage. Been down the garage all day tuning up a fancy Rolls for some posho - Tarquin whats-his-face

Mandy: Tarquin St. Teabags? We met him last week. Nice guy. We like to kick things off by asking where you come from?
Lumpy: Here and there, you know, wherever the work takes me. Working at a little Goblin Garage round the corner at the mo, trying really hard to keep hold of that job, but it never seems to work out for me at garages

Mandy: Oh really? That's a shame. I don't suppose that's got anything to do with your favourite food has it?
Lumpy: Err, yeah ok, hands up, you got me there. I love me a tasty spanner, they're just so hard to resist! Wash it down with a nice cold beer and you've got everything a hard working lass could ask for.

Mandy: And your least favourite?
Lumpy: Poodles. They're well yucky. Especially if they've had their fancy fur all dyed. No meat on em either! Give me a good honest, hard-working collie or something yeah?

Mandy: I probably won't give you anything. Last question for you - any life lessons you'd like to share?
Lumpy: Well it's like my dad always used to say: "If it moves but shouldn't: gaffa tape; if it doesn't move but should: WD40"


You've read the whole thing again haven't you? Tune in next week to see what happens when I am put in a room with other sentient beings. I'm not sure how it will go. I might prefer my goblin friends now...